Oh So Thankful - Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving eve snow fell silently and without warning, as if to see if anyone would notice. My heart le with the sight, my first snow fall in two and a half years. It was as magical for me as it was when I was little, the dancing pieces of white floating to create my own snow globe world.

Turkey day arrived without hesitation, the morning sun reflecting in the thin blanket of snow, getting me school-girl excited all over again. I went out in my snuggly fake fur, armed with my camera, wanting to take it all in and Kodak moment it without missing any of the marvelously small details. I made tracks and watched them with child-like curiosity, marveling at just how little was making me happy at that exact second. The icicle pointed with such sharpness that it worried me. In those few minutes I dreamed of swinging outside, head titled back just enough for a head rush, dreaming of the world all white while twirling and upside down.

Once inside it was hugs and cheerful exaltations all around, while even the cold tried to make its way inside, showing itself through the steamed up and dripping wet windows. What a perfect way to start out Thanksgiving!


Breakfast was started before long, Gran, Dad, Mom, and I all sitting down together. My excitement spread through by body and soon was making it's way nonstop out my mouth in the form of laughter, jokes, and totally silliness. I could barely sit still as we played a morning round of Hand and Foot, one of our favorite family card games.

With the game over and me trying to get out all of my energy by dancing around in the kitchen signing and tra-la-laing "Thanksgiving, thanksgiving," over and over again, everyone once in awhile lifting myself up between the chair and island in the kitchen and throwing out a karate kick of something fierce, I finally simmered down long enough to smell my vegetarian stuffing.


Before long, Mom was working on the turkey, smothering it in seasonings. I watched and joked about her hand being various places, to which to my bragging right, kept her laughing all the while.


Hours later, the smell of turkey having wafted through every corner of the house and finally done, Dad went to work cutting up the bird.


Feeling like I should contribute more to the dinner than my comedic skills and memory capturing snap-snappy photo taking, I declared that I would be the official masher of the potatoes.


Dad and Gran.


Me and Mom.


With the food finally ready, we all sat down to a feast that dreams are made of, especially since being in China for the past two years.


It can't nor shouldn't be a proper Thanksgiving meal without dessert, and so after plates were cleared, mincemeat and pumpkin pies having claimed themselves as the grandfinale of the evening, we commenced cutting and the final yums of the night. I hadn't heard the crunchy whirl of a Readi Whip can in ages and so couldn't withstand the temptation and pure delight of straight from the can to the mouth goodness. I mean, that is what it is really made for!


As much as the day was filled with fun, games, laughs, and good food, a huge important part was missing - my brother, Dave. It was hard for me to have him gone, especially this being my first big holiday back in the States and wanting him there, but I kept my eye on the prize, Christmas, and knew that he would be with us all again before long. Don't worry, Dave, I took an extra squirt of Readi Whip just for you!

The Panzhihua 4 Minus 1 - A Visit to Duluth and Peace Corps family

I've been trying to see people or plan out times to make time, not knowing what the next few months will bring, let alone days or minutes that lay ahead. I had hoped to visit my brother in the middle of this month, my missing him prompting last minute conversations of me flying out to Seattle, ticket prices seeming to laugh back at me in a sinister tone. With my trip out to Dave postponed, I thought of all of the people that were on my list to see. Having been lucky enough to see Paul, Lindsey and Brian of the Panzhihuaren family were closer than the rest, and so I let the idea out and shook it around. 'Yes, yes! Come, come!' came the voices from the north.

A few days before heading up to Minnesota, I woke up excited at the only days away reunion, e-mailing Linds and Bri of my excitement while dancing to my happy feet.

I left Friday morning at eight after going over directions with Dad, him giving Mapquest a disapproving nod while suggesting an alternate route that would later shave an hour off of my time. And so armed with a peanut butter and jelly, apple, two clementines, water, hugs and kisses to family members, and devastatingly good looks fresh from the covers of my bed, I warmed up my car, climbed in, turned on NPR, and was on my way.

The hours went by fast, sleepiness at one point being so heavy that I was unsure of my exact whereabouts and whether I was still on the right course. I pulled into a rest stop and studied the map, relief coming over me upon finding my location. I needed caffeine!

Readied and more awake, I observed the change in landscape, from mostly shade trees to a mix of shade and pine, the look signifying that I was officially north. The drive reminded me of trips up to visit my brother in the U.P. and waves of missing him crushed over me. Good thing I was in the car or I would've been freezing!

Then I was there at Superior, Wisconsin, with only the water and bridge separating me from Duluth. With an hour before my arrival time left, I turned the car around and went back to the last rest stop I had spotted. I freshened up while in my car, then called Nikki (my P.C. soul mate) and talked to Guy (a person you will be introduced to at a later date). Time running on, I made my way to Duluth, traversed the city, taking in it's quaintness, and parking.

Brian would be the first person I'd see, work breaking for him earlier than Lindsey. With his directions, I found his place of work, followed the signs to his office, and knocked on his office door while opening it hesitantly. Within a second he was in view, a smile on his face, and the months in between when we all parted washed away. After meeting coworkers and looking around, we made our way to their apartment, were we played the wait game till we could get Lindsey. We talked of life, catching each other up on the latest, while being showed the apartment and relaxing from the day.

Picking up Lindsey at work was a reunion that threw me, seeing Brian and Lindsey together in America being almost too dreamlike to grasp.
From there we drove to a Mexican restaurant, ordered drinks, and toasted to our reunion. Within moments everything came spilling out, life and laughs of the kind normally shared between the three of us.

Full and feeling good, we made our way downtown for the Christmas parade that was to ensue. Glimpses of the parade's beginning came into view and we rushed to follow it to see the start. We stood with the many people of Duluth and other places of Minnesota, hats, gloves, kids, dogs, and loved ones nestled together and worn as outdoor wear whether it was the original purpose of said thing/person or not. The breeze took your breath away and tempted smiles to stay put, while turning noses red. I danced to the beats of the many bands or shrugged my shoulders in time with the throngs of tap dancers that strutted their stuff. My favorite was watching the flame throwers, several groups of them, girls whirling lit up batons, making me jealous of the way parades were done up in the north.


We walked home pub crawl style to ward of the cold and keep our feet moving. Cold nights and cider in an Irish pub - where could anyone go wrong? Then you add the company of two amazing people and anyone with that mixture is golden.

Back at home, the walk seeming longer than I had anticipated it feeling, we changed, hugs given round before heads fell on pillows.

I woke up to a dusting of snow, it having fallen in secret while we slept. It tugged a smile to my lips as I shuffled around in the morning newness.

It was a slow, luxurious morning of watching MTSS podcasts that made us laugh and made me proud of the friend who was responsible. After breakfast and showering, we headed out in my car to run errands. Once parched and tired, we headed closer to the lake for a yummy lunch that satisfied like no other. We finished our day with a purchase of gourmet chocolates and movies and headed home to snuggle in.

Sunday, my last full day with Linds and Bri, was another chill day, reminding me of hang out session together back in Panzhihua. Linds and I tooled around for a bit in the late morning and were hungry by three in the afternoon. We picked up Brian and collectively decided on Indian. Indian had other plans, as both places were closed. So instead we went to the next choice, a local pizza place with great apps and drinks. The three of us sat in the bar, where the ambiance was Amanda style and the waitress looked crazy tough but was killer cool. We sat down and started a game of Scrabble while eating in between bowls of artichoke dip and vegetarian pizza with fake meat.

Back at home, Linds dialed up Steve, the missing member of our family, who is now living in Korea. It was crazy to have all of us there in voice, to have a conversation between everyone, to laugh with each other even though one was across the ocean.


Monday morning we all got ready, me to go and Brian and Lindsey for work. The night before we discussed the next time we would be getting together, which we decided would only be two months away when Steve would be back in the States, so the goodbye was only a 'see you later.' By the time hugs were dolled out and one last look and smile shared with both I was already excited at the next time I would be back to Duluth.

Working in America

After being back in Woodstock for three and a half months (which seems like nothing and a long time all in one breath) and life not going at all like I had planned or hoped it would when I came home, I decided that I needed to get out and do my thing.

Originally, I didn't want to substitute teach. I knew that I would do a great job, but part of me, the professional part, felt like it would be taking a few steps back. (I had been offered several wonderful opportunities in Alaska, both part and full-time, but with Mom and Grandma, I just felt that staying around right now would be best for everyone.)

Last Friday before the start of the weekend, I officially signed up to sub in my local school district. I sighed when I pushed the return button for the final time, not really sure that I wanted to, but knowing that Mom was doing better and that I had to start work whether or not it was a full-time position.

I woke up this morning enthused beyond belief for the day ahead of me, an added quickness to my step with my new purpose. Did I mention feelings of nervousness? Once at the school, I signed in at the office and wandered down the halls of what used to be my middle school. Not a lot had changed and being in the building brought back a lot of memories.

I read and reread through the plans for the day, walked around the room, and took in the surroundings. Suddenly, the teacher from across the hall stepped in, which was the same teacher that had been on my interview panel for the job I had went after months ago. After introductions and her remembering me, she went on to say how they really wished that they would have been able to hire me (another teacher in the district transferred) and how much they had wanted me at their school, and how that feeling continued even months later.

Minutes later, students started coming in, one girl looked me over time and time again and said, "Wow, you are really tall." I tried saying that it was the heels, but she and I both knew better. The day got started and hummed along, fifth graders being so amazing to me that I often caught myself watching them work with a smile on my face, feelings of pride not really being well earned, but so blown over by their young adult I-can-do-it attitudes, how could one not feel some sense of pride? (I have been told that I am easily won over, prideful smiles and acknowledgements constantly spilling out about my loved ones from my lips, so I guess it really wasn't that big of a stretch.) I got enthralled when they raised their hands to ask for my help or to help them act out their parts for the first time when they practiced their class skit.

The morning, then afternoon flew by, and soon we were all saying "Ziajian!" the word I taught all of them at the beginning of the day after they had asked a little bit about me. The word for goodbye in Chinese. With the first day done, I went on to meet a friend and share my day, stories of chuckles and head-nodding falling from my mouth one after another.

The Colors of Fall and Halloween Fun

October brought fall, a season that I hadn't experienced in two years of living in China. Brian, one of the original Panzhihua 4, shared how it was his favorite season while we were abroad. I seemed to have forgotten all the things I loved about fall till I looked out my bedroom one morning and hit me with breathtaking beauty that had snuck up on me with such subtleness that it nearly knocked me over.


My parents property has always been the epitome of beauty, the seasons telling of itself in the trees, unable to hide even the slightest change. One has to watch closely, because when eyes are averted, if even for minutes it sometimes seems, things change in the largest proportions that leaves one in disbelief.


The colors here seem more rich than elsewhere, maybe because of the love affair with time, of knowing the earth so personally here in a way that I know no other.

With the coming and meandering of fall came my ever growing (even after continuous completions) 'Soak-Up Americana' list. Back in China I started compiling a list of things that I wanted to experience once back in America for fear of forgetting all to easily the things and experiences that I craved, once again falling into the trap of taking all that home has to offer for granted.

I spent at least one day a week, if not a few, heading out to Marengo Ridge, a park about fifteen minutes away from my place with trails that wrap around and through the wilderness, a place that is tucked away and often forgotten about. I've gone to get out, soak in sun, and breath in the air. I love the smell and the sound of the leaves as they are kicked up by shuffling feet mesmerizes me. It's a spot that I love sharing, reminding people of, and introducing them to. A place that holds memories that I still hear whisperings of carried on the breeze between the trees.

And then quickly came Halloween, with mist hoovering above dew soaked grass, making a known land look mystical. The leaves started falling more rapidly, in places covering the entire ground in yellows, reds, and golds. Apple picking, pumpkin carving, and dressing in costume were all in order, and so I went to task as best as I could. I went with Gran to an orchard, picking up cider, yummy donuts, and mouth-watering apple butter. A week or so later I ventured out with Lyd to her favorite orchard to take in all things fall. The aroma of freshly baked cider donuts made me hungry, not to mention the countless other goodies that were set-up everyone one looked.

Back at my place, pumpkin carving commenced. Over an old, plastic table cloth, Lydia and I went to work, first cutting the whole in the top and then scraping out the seeds. The goo is the trickiest part for me. I hate the stuff. It brings out my gag reflex like nothing else. Just one feel of the slimy grossness and... ugh, excuse me. So I use a spoon to scrap it all away then turn it upside down and beat on the gourd to get everything out. Lyd, on the other hand, totally hardcore, going at it and even saving the seeds.

Soon we were both carving, me feeling like my imagination was failing me, all jack-o-lantern creativity long gone. I continued though, bound and determined to have something that would glow with the light of a candle by the end. Skills lacking, it was fun cutting into the pumpkin, seeing what would transpire. As soon as Lyd and I finished, we grabbed candles, lit them, placed the candles inside, and turned off the lights. My pumpkin wasn't impressive in the least, but I still ahh'd in the magic that seemed to emit from it's core.




Before I knew it, I was trying like mad to think of costumes. I wanted a great costume, my last one of a cat and the one prior as a hippy, flower child, not the most amazing of ideas. So I started making a list, came up with what I thought were great ideas, only to realize they would be too hard to make or that others would just simply not get them. And so put off by my indecisiveness, I didn't have a costume till the day of my friend's party when I was rummaging through Mom's stuff downstairs and found an old hospital gown. At first I tried it on with a set of angel wings I had from years ago, the idea of being a fallen angel being the end goal. It was okay, but I wanted something more. With the wings off and the gown still on, an idea came to my head, and before I knew it I was out the door and heading to the next town to find a fake butt. I never would have thought that I would ever be asking anyone for one of those in a store!


Michelle's party was a hoot, complete with jello shots in syringes that had one guy telling me every hour that I needed more medicine. What is a patient to do?